With Love from an Older Mom

Dear Mom,

Maybe no one has ever told you this, but I want you to know that I am proud of you.  Even though I don’t know you, I’m pretty sure you love your kids. Deeply.  I know that you want the very best for them and that you would lay your life down for them.  I also know that you have dreams for your children.  Dreams that they will be their very best.  And that because you made a difference in their lives, they will make a difference in this world.

I also know that you probably feel inadequate.  Often.  That you wonder if you really are a good mom.  You doubt you can manage to grow these kids without ruining them.  You don’t know for sure if you are feeding them right, educating them adequately, training them properly, making good memories, enjoying them enough…the list goes on.

Can I be the one to tell you?  You are the perfect mom for your kids. Your kids instinctively know it too.  God made you to be their mom.  This was not some thoughtless, unintentional act on His part.  They are unique.  So are you.  And you were matched up perfectly by our Creator.

There are going to be a lot of days you will be tempted to think otherwise. Days you will be pursuaded to compare yourself to others.  Don’t let those thoughts derail you from carrying out HIS purposes for YOUR family.  Don’t  let the enemy gain a foothold.   And never think, for one minute, that you can do this mom thing on your own.

Work in cooperation with the One who brought you and your children(and husband) together.  Remember these children are not yours.  They are His.  You have the privilege of nurturing them into adulthood.  The years will go by quickly.  Have fun with your kids.  Laugh with your teens.  Don’t waste your energy on inconsequential details.  Ask God what’s really important.

Isaac's piggys

Don’t let the children become more important than your relationship with God or with your husband.  Raising children together will make your marriage and relationship with God stronger, but only if you make them a priority.

Never go to bed angry.  Clean the slate by the end of the day…with your husband and your children.  Encourage them to do the same.

Don’t be afraid to be the mom.  Say yes when you can.  It’s ok if you have to say no.  Boundaries provide security and lets them know that you care.  It doesn’t mean they will like it.  It doesn’t mean that you won’t feel like the “bad lady”…a lot.   Remember who you are really needing to please.

Don’t be afraid to listen to your gut, but also remember that it could be hormones…or exhaustion. Ask God to show you the difference.

Remember that God’s Word has the answers to all of life’s questions and God will give you wisdom if you ask Him for it. Learn to hear from Him.

Pace yourself.  In motherhood, the victory is not to the swift.  Be intentional.

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND.   Aside from the gospel,  the greatest gift you can give your children is to respect that man of yours and build a strong marriage.  It won’t be perfect…ever.  But it’s worth fighting for.

God loves you more than you know, dear Mom.

Durenda recently wrote a simple, mercifully short book on homeschooling based on her 20+ years of homeschooling her 8 kids. Check it out on Amazon….The Unhurried Homeschooler  (aff link)

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