• durendalee

What Our Boys Need From Us

Sometimes I feel like I am raising another species.  Yes, I mean our boys. I love them, but sometimes I really do not understand them.  I don’t get what is eternally funny about gas.  I don’t understand why they don’t want to give me more information when they get home from an event.  And I really don’t get why bonding sometimes means beating the tar out of each other.


As a young mom to these incredible creatures, I sometimes struggled with feeling adequate for the job.  They have taught me a lot.  I’d like to share a few things that I have learned over the last 19 years of being a mom to boys (five of them actually). I’m using an acronym that, as a mom to boys, should be super easy to remember…BURP.

Boundaries- It is crucial that we set clear and concise boundaries for our boys.  Just know that they WILL press those boundaries more than you would ever imagine.  Put your boots on and hold firmly to those limits (within reason) and your boys will be secure and quite possibly live to adulthood.

Use few words-  Choose your words carefully, choose as few as possible.  Boys do not respect or respond to too many words.  But be ready with appropriate consequences BEFORE they step over the line.  I lose all creativity when I’m flustered.  It’s easier to stay calm and keep the words to a minimum if you already know what the consequences are going to be.

Responsibility- Put responsibilities on their shoulders as soon as they can handle it.  Age appropriate responsibilities help them to grow quickly in skills and confidence.  They feel like they have conquered.  Responsibilities give them something to conquer.

Prayer-The greatest thing you can do for your boys is to pray for them.  I am telling you, the enemy wants the hearts of our men. You are raising men. Fight for their souls on your knees.  The greatest, deepest work that needs to be done in our boys’ hearts, is done by God Himself.  And I believe that the power of a praying mom will overcome the onslaught of the enemy and our culture who seem hell bent on destroying our men.

It’s easy as moms to feel like a failure because we don’t really always understand our boys, but God is bigger than our weaknesses and short comings.  He is also incredibly faithful.  He has taken my meager offerings as a mom and multiplied them over and over again.  There is a special place in the hearts of boys for their moms.  And there is a special place in the heart of God for moms of boys.

He loves you. He loves your boys.  He has entrusted you to raise these men and He WILL give you what it takes to see this through!

Boys are fascinating in so many ways.  Let’s not forget to embrace and enjoy the way that God made them.  When our boys see that we appreciate and admire the way they are created, we give them confidence because they know that they are valued.

(Here are a couple of affiliate links to two books that I have learned a lot from:  “The Minds of Boys” by Robert Gurian  AND “Boys Should Be Boys” by Meg Meeker)

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