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Redemption Undefined

The one thing you can always count on is change. Although I still have kids at home, I have been wearing my new role as mother-in-law and, and now, Nana. So many parts of both of these roles are wonderful, but there are parts that are hard to navigate (go figure). The truth is that I had been asking God to clarify and better define my roles so that I could carry them out more intentionally. Be careful what you pray for! As we approached the time for Brittney to have her second baby, each day carried more of a load as we walked out the “pre-labor” days. We only had our experience with losing Issac just a year before to relate to, and that made it hard to visualize anything. I really believed that this baby would be just fine and that’s where God would lead me back to every time I prayed about it. What that journey would look like, was a mystery. Deciding when I would make the seven hour drive was up in the air as Britt was doing some natural things to get labor going. This kept us on pins and needles for days and I finally just had to be done waiting and head over so that I would at least be close if labor started. I need to stop right here and make a confession: As much as I tried not to, I had some ideas in my mind that made much of what we were about to walk through harder. When Isaac was born, I remember God telling me, “I will redeem this”. I have seen fingerprints of redemption over the past year, but I also anticipated that “redemption” would look like a wonderful, natural birth (with a few possible hiccups), and that I would be there to hear his first cry (after not being able to hear Isaac’s)-the cry of my first live grand baby. It would also look like me being able to be helpful and involved, like I was at Isaac’s birth and the days immediately following. God had other plans. Baby was in a wonky kind of side-ways position(head down, but turned and off to the side). Some induction was attempted one day, but with no progress. Jacob and Brittney headed home for a good night’s sleep with another attempt planned for the next day. If that didn’t work, they planned to wait a few more days to see if baby would move. Next day’s induction did get things going and doctor was pretty confident baby would move and cooperate. He started to in early labor, but then went right back to where he was. Long story short, his heart rate kept dropping and then going back to normal and a c-section was decided after Britt had labored all day and was over halfway to full dilation. This is the point at which I came into the room so that I could talk to the anesthesiologist. Brittney had asked me to because I have had 8 c-sections and also knew the meds she was sensitive to. Everything was a whirlwind after that. I walked the halls praying for Brittney, for the baby, for the doctors and nurses. I was also trying to come to terms with the upheaval that had just happened. Couldn’t this have been easier? Hadn’t Brittney and Jacob been through enough?? God calmed my heart by reminding me once again of His sovereignty…that HE knew the labor, baby, circumstances, and Brittney better than I did and He had a GOOD plan in all of this. Baby arrived safe and sound 7lb 6 oz, 20 inches long. When I walked out to meet him for the first time, I will never forget his sweet little face and huge eyes looking up at me. What a moment that was! It wasn’t the first cry ( I saw that later on video), but it was a moment I will never forget!

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